::new wine::

New Wine
Words and Music by Brooke Ligertwood
VERSE 1:
In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making new wine
In the soil I now surrender
You are breaking new ground
PRE-CHORUS:
So I yield to You and to Your careful hand
When I trust You I don’t need to understand
CHORUS:
Make me Your vessel
Make me an offering
Make me whatever You want me to be
I came here with nothing
But all You have given me
Jesus bring new wine out of me
VERSE 2:
In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making new wine
In the soil I now surrender
You are breaking new ground
VERSE TAG:
You are breaking new ground
BRIDGE:
Where there is new wine
There is new power
There is new freedom
The Kingdom is here
I lay down my old flames
To carry Your new fire today

Fairly recently, I told a friend of mine that an anniversary (of sorts) was coming up.  That anniversary marks THE YEAR.  And I am choosing to make a conscious decision at that year to just let some stuff go.
Stuff (defined): emotional baggage, hurt, pain, anger, general frustration, victim mentality, source of excuse
Last year, nobody understood why I was angry and hurt.  Truthfully, I didn’t understand the magnitude of it either.  I had been hurt by church people before – surely, I could get over this.  WRONG.  I got in, under, and wrapped up in my pain, but never over it.  I festered.  I seethed.  I threw a couple of pity parties.  Even invited friends if I thought they’d join in.
When the dust settled, I still felt mangled and angry.  I said I was forgiving.  I really was trying.  But forgiveness as an adult can be hard because we are so dang stubborn, and then psychoanalyze everything we do as “building walls”.  
Y’ALL I have spouted building walls until I’m blue in the face.
We are dumb.
But I still had to forgive.   I am commanded to forgive.  
But his song struck me this week, because it is my prayer and my hope:
Make me Your vessel
Make me an offering
Make me whatever You want me to be
I came here with nothing
But all You have given me
Jesus bring new wine out of me
I will be the first to admit that I have 10,000 “I don’t know” answers to my questions, but I am confident in this:
I know whose I am.
I know who is in control.
And I know that new wine is coming.

And no more stuff.  I'm holding tight to my anniversary.