I have wanted to write this post for a few weeks but I honestly have no idea how to start. Any and all grammatical and literary coherence may be completely lost, but that's okay. :)
Six months ago, a precious friend of mine started couponing. My friend J. encouraged and taught all of us to coupon. In my heart, I started couponing to 1) save money and 2) be able to "bless my family in a way that was financially smart and give back a smidgen of what they'd given me. Over the course of the first few months, we (all) discovered that one of the cashiers we interacted with had been a high school classmate of J.'s. They really didn't interact and the cashier had assumed (for quite a few years) that J. was snooty. (Very much not the case.) J. began talking to this cashier and inviting her to church. Cashier informed us all of her large family -- she is 25, with 3 kids -- ages 3, 2, and 4 months.
sidenote: it was at this point that we all realized this was not some chance meeting. It's so funny how God does things when you least expect it and in ways that you least expect. Such is God. and THANK GOD.
I would love to put more details of cashier's life on the Internet, but I just can't... Her story is her story and I'm not going to detract from it. She's a statistic of sorts. If God doesn't move in a mighty way, her children will probably be statistics too.
Again, I want to tell you SO much more, but that's not the story... at least not for me.
In a way that I never imagined, God put three of the sweetest, funniest, snuggliest kids in my life and the lives of my girlfriends.
I know this is a crazy, broken-up blog post. Such is the state of my heart.
I've never in my life considered adoption. Different people are called to amazing things, but adoption has never been on my radar. But these kids?? They make me want to adopt all the children of the world.
My heart has never been shattered into so many pieces. And for the life of me, I can't tell you how God is supposed to put them back together. Or what my heart will look like when he does.
I had told my friends many times over the last few weeks that these babies make my uterus hurt. Every maternal instinct I have is on full throttle.
All I can do is love on these sweet babies. Kiss their cheeks. Squeeze them, tickle them, love them.
And they have turned my world upside down.
This is what happens when you sincerely pray for God to break your heart for what breaks His.