2012 Word

2012 Word.  
I could give you a litany of excuses as to why I haven’t posted this already, but it has more to do with what I’m posting than anything.  :)
My 2011 word was intentional.  Although I mentioned this earlier, it’s important for me to write again, that I could have never imagined living out last year’s word like I did.  If I had any idea how intentional my year would be, I don’t know that I would have meditated and prayed on that word!  I’m kidding.
Honestly, there were (and truthfully still are) some fractured relationships in my life.  I want to heal those, but I don’t know how.  But last year I was able to mend a few of those, not to the same level as before the fissure, but to a new level of respect. I actually like that better too!
For the relationships that are the most precious to me, I tried to be and am still working to be more intentional with those friends. I will still fall short, but instead of beating myself up and being fearful, I’m learning to own it.
What I hope to do, is not forget integrating intentional-ness into my relationships, but to add with it this year’s word:
Balance.
I firmly believe this is the word that scares me the most because it’s so hard to achieve.  My prayer is that, through 2012, I learn exactly what balance is and am conscientious that balance in my life doesn’t look like balance in the lives of others.  I do not walk in your shoes, and holding myself to any standards other than me is unfair and ridiculous.
Here is my hope and prayer:
Finding balance in my heart and mind.  Remembering that 18 inches is the most critical and if my heart and mind aren’t in line, nothing else will be.
Finding balance in my emotions.  As a woman I feel like one of my greatest struggles is always “feeling”.  It’s exhausting and I want to find balance (or maybe accountability?) in putting my emotions in check, primarily in scripture.  God’s word is the BEST place to find balance for all my feeings!
Finding balance in my daily routine.  I struggle with this so bad!  I know that’s silly to share, but years of living alone is not cultivating the good habits I want to exhibit.
Finding balance at work.  I’ve historically been all over the place in most areas of my life, but I’m really seeing the magnitude of finding balance at work.  I spend most of my week with these people.  I love them, but I need balance in cultivating relationship as well as getting things done.  Balance in this area really looks like I need to realign my pyramid into God, ME, Family, Work, Other – instead of it’s present order.
Finding balance in health.  I still haven’t blogged about my health issues, so I’ll be brief.  Around Thanksgiving, I had some blood work done.  My dr. gave me a diagnosis as to why I’ve gained some significant weight over the last four years.  Things in my body have been broke, and while I shouldn’t praise God for that, I’m thankful for HIS touch on my physician, and that she caught it.  The result is that I’ve lost 20 pounds in the last month.  I feel SO MUCH Better!  But now with this diagnosis, I have a long way  to go, but I see the light!  I think it’s time to put on my running shoes again.
Instead of focusing on every single area to find balance, I’m going to stop here.  I think that’s where balance starts.  It’s one foot in front of the other, with God at the beginning.
Here goes!!!
Xoxo,
Jenn