::sandpaper season::

For reasons that I don’t completely understand, I’m in this season where a lot of things seem contemptible.  Constant disagreements.  Frustration at breaking point levels. Tension that can be cut with a knife.
I hate these kinds of seasons.  I haven’t had one in a few years and while I’m thankful, I know they are necessary.  They’re the biblical sandpaper season.
Too bad I didn’t realize how badly I needed sandpaper, or how much God thought I needed sandpaper!
I have found that these sandpaper seasons are always accompanied by change and growth. Change really is inevitable and it is good.  Growth, while hard in the moment, is always good.  
I also know that this growth and change is directly correlated to a season of planting in my own life.  Where I thought that I was in the dark, but it was really where God had put seed in the ground of my life and now it’s breaking through.
Coincidentally, a lot of the sermons I’ve been listening to revolve around fighting battles that (I) may or may not have signed up for.  Trust me, I have ZERO desire to wage war.  But we also rarely wage war against flesh.  There is always a deeper meaning – a bigger battle.
A handful of battles I’m fighting revolve around others expectations of me.  While there is always a healthy level of what we should expect out of one another (maybe attempt to be a good human being?), the manipulative expectations are the ones that drive me bonkers.  I don’t have to _______.  Both for good reason and natural preservation, the more I’m presented with these, the less I want to be around the people who expect them out of me.  Mostly because it’s unrealistic and unhealthy!
I’ve been so grateful for a very close friend in this season who has listened to me, challenged me on my reactions (in the best way), loved me when I call her crying, and just been the best friend that I needed her to be.  
My hope and my prayer is that this season will pass quickly and what comes out of it is beautiful.
Here’s to celebrating sandpaper seasons with some grace.

“You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’ ””
‭‭2 Chronicles‬ ‭20:17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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